Renew Your Marriage!

There may be a time in your marriage when you experience a period of struggle. It’s usually characterized by questioning the future of your union, feeling indifference towards your mate or experiencing a marriage crisis. This is generally a season, but the pressures of life can make it feel like it will last forever. It’s the time when talking may lead to shouting or much worse, silence, a time when the unintended consequences of a job loss, illness of spouse, child or parent, or imminent financial ruin confronts you or your spouse. Other crisis situations can be related to the actions of others, infidelity of your partner, rejection or alienation from either spouse’s family because they oppose the relationship. Another frequent, but less discussed issue is the silent killer of indifference to your spouse and your life together, co-existing as spiritual roommates instead of soul mates.

Many people struggle in their marriages with no one to talk to and feeling alone in their despair. These are some of the seemingly happy couples that interact with you but true joy and fulfillment elude their relationship. Love Legacy^sm offers advice on common and uncommon experiences in marriage and offers the love of God as the ultimate counselor, friend and advisor on how to make it through the tough times that we all face in our marriages. In any of these situations there is only one way to revive the relationship, and that is through the Word of God, fervent prayer and seeking His will for your life and the union. This book is written to provide spiritual RENEWAL and primary First Aid to get you through each day when you feel you can’t take it anymore.

The book is set up in three sections with several topics in each section. The first section

Section I – Stop the Pain discusses marriages in crisis and strategies to restore the relationship from brokenness.

• Beyond the Breaking Point - Stop the Pain – This topic addresses the pain and suffering that sometimes occurs in marriage that can lead to a relationship that is beyond the breaking point. At this point in the marriage, couples work to restore their relationship or end up separated.
• Anger Management – This topic deals with the anger that builds in a marriage in crisis. The smallest incident can lead to a heated argument. Often unresolved problems or issues fuel the anger. Strategies to move beyond disagreements are provided to the reader.
• Secrecy - Let the Games Begin – The root of many problems in a marriage is secrecy. Whether shopping sprees, friendships or addictions many couples deal with betrayal of trust because honesty is not present in the relationship.
• A Broken Heart Can Mend – The ability to heal the hurts in your relationship depend on forgiveness. The ones we love have the greatest impact on our well being. Unfortunately, there are times when our actions or our spouse’s lead to a broken relationship and a broken heart. How do you move beyond the hurt?
• Pandora’s Box – The greatest barrier to a healthy relationship is allowing the past hurts to govern the future of the relationship. In order to restore your relationship you will have to put the past in Pandora’s Box and close it.
• Praying for Your Mate – Prayer is one of most under utilized tools in healing a broken relationship. When you pray for your spouse and take time to pray with them the Lord can transform your relationship.
• Renew Your Faith – The wedding day stands as a fond memory for most couples. However, as the years pass the hope that we had on our wedding day may fade. To renew the relationship we need to focus on honoring each other and God in our marriage.
• Prayer to Be In One Accord – The power of prayer in your marriage as a daily practice allows the light of God’s love to shine through the difficult days. The value of being in one accord on major decisions and valuing your relationship is a key to overcoming the obstacles of life.
• Being Honest with Ourselves – If we are honest with ourselves we each have issues that we must deal with individually and within a marriage. Taking a hard look at the man or the woman in the mirror means acknowledging where we could make changes that will benefit the marriage.
• Stand Firm – The commitment to each other and God to stand together through the adversities of life means fighting for your relationship. Many couples give up without a fight, only to realize later that their spouse was in fact the person they truly love. If you want a great marriage fight for it.

Section II – (Killing the Marriage Softly -Routine Issues that Cause Conflict)The second section discusses some of the annoying things and routine issues that each couple must address.

• A Cure for a Bad Day – A discussion on how couples can take one another for granted. Frustrations are often projected on our mates instead of the people or issues that are causing the frustration.
• Amnesty for my Mate – provides a patented strategy for dealing with your spouse when you have reached your limit.
• Time Bombs - Things that Piss You Off or Old Habits are Hard to Break – There are some things that make us unique. Those things are often the attributes that our spouse may find attractive or irritating. Some practical advice on how to make an old dog do new tricks.
• Road Rage - Who’s Driving? – Do you drive under the speed limit or to qualify for the racing circuit? Since we spend so much time in the cars, how we drive, or who drives can be a constant reminder of your differences. Take the rage off the road with strategies to help even the driving impaired.
• Mr. & Mrs. Moody – Does moodiness run in your family? Whether it’s His or Hers, spouses struggle to be patient with a temperamental partner. Some suggestions on keeping the peace with Mr. or Mrs. Moody.
• Let your house be a sanctuary – Keeping the House clean is the subject of much debate. Also, who does the chores and the distribution of work . This topic provides some practical advice of how to let your house be a home.
• Show Me the Money – Money is listed as one of the top five of reasons why marriages fail. It’s not the money, it is communication and finding a method of saving and spending that works for both of you.
• Debt Trap – Financial Overload – Financing the American Dream can mean strapped finances and debt that stretches beyond your paycheck. Bankruptcy, foreclosure and car repossession are just a few things that can ruin a good marriage.
• Surviving Tough Financial Times – Practical advice to overcome tough financial times in your marriage. Any couple can overcome an obstacle if they are working together to solve their financial issues. When you stop fighting with each other and work on the problem, the results are surprising.
• Fighting Fair vs. Fighting to the Finish – Setting ground rules for fighting fair can mean the difference between celebrating a happy anniversary or saying bon voyage to your spouse. Take the high road and invest in your relationship by fighting fair.
• Friends & Family (For or Against the Marriage) – When the preacher says “if anyone knows of a reason that these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? And no one answers that’s the last chance for family and friends to oppose the union. Make sure that you set boundaries in your marriage to protect against unintentional sabotage of your relationship.
• Intrusive Job, Boss and Work Situations - We spend many hours at work with our bosses and co-workers. These interactions require patience and diplomacy even in the face of adversity but on many occasions they affect our family. Whether it’s long hours or frustration brought home, our job can intrude on our personal life.

Section III – Rekindle the Flame (Togetherness, Harmony and Unity) The third section is “Rekindle the Flame,” and discusses how to reinvest love and passion into the relationship.

• Praying Together - Couples can strengthen their relationship by committing to prayer daily. The prayer partnership also allows God to be the center of your relationship.
• Passionate Encounters – Expressions of love, passion and intimacy began in courtship and should continue in your relationship. Create new memories for your spouse.
• Random Acts of Sensuality – Creativity and spontaneity often leave a marriage over time. Explore creative ways to maintain intimacy in your relationship.
• Dating Again – Be specific about reinvesting in your marriage. Setting and keeping dates with your spouse is a simple way to fan the flame of love.
• Managing the Demands of Parenthood – Candid discussion of how parenthood impacts intimacy in a marriage. Explore creative ways to be good parents but not at the expense of your relationship.
• Supporting Each Other – The challenges of life often create tension in your marriage. Discover ways to support your spouse throughout the different seasons of life.
• Let Your Light Shine – The light of your relationship should be evident and a testimony to others. Allowing God to be the center of the relationship means you can impact other people in a positive way.
• Memorable Memories – Enjoy the marriage every day and create memories. Time is precious and today will be the foundation for tomorrow’s joy.

Mastering Intimacy – Final Words of Encouragement
May you be blessed by God as you receive the love you need from the Almighty and your spouse. It is my prayer that you will embark on leaving a Love Legacy^sm that lasts a 1,000 generations. May the love, joy and intimacy of your relationship carry you through the journey of life together.

Be Blessed!